Sensei’s Poker Dojo

Think this is the first time I’ve pulled one of these off in PLO:

Full Tilt Poker $5/$10 Pot Limit Omaha Hi – 5 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

UTG: $622.00
Hero (CO): $1260.00
BTN: $487.25
SB: $1198.00
BB: $955.00

Pre Flop: ($15.00) Hero is CO with 5 Q Q 5
UTG calls $10, Hero raises to $45, 3 folds, UTG raises to $150, Hero calls $105

Flop: ($315.00) T 5 8 (2 players)
UTG bets $315, Hero raises to $1110 all in, UTG calls $157 all in

Turn: ($1259.00) A (2 players – 2 are all in)

River: ($1259.00) 5 (2 players – 2 are all in)
Hero says “snap”

Final Pot: $1259.00
UTG shows 8 2 A A (a full house, Aces full of Fives)
Hero shows 5 Q Q 5 (four of a kind, Fives)
Hero wins $1256.00
(Rake: $3.00)

The day began with an inauspicious start. At 8:30AM our building’s contractor (and his non-English-speaking assistant) had arrived to do some maintenance on the place. Apparently when a building is over a hundred years old some of the inner workings aren’t functioning at their peak, so he had to do some wiring of our lights, and replace not just some fuses in our fuse box¹ but the whole box itself, installing a circuit-breaker box in its stead. There were a few other issues around the building as well, so they actually ended up staying around and working from about 10:30 AM to 7PM. Needless to say it was difficult to get any work done, and I actually had to reschedule a few appointments for coaching and such. I did manage to beat a few grand prixs on Wii MarioKart, at least until the contractor informed me that he’d be shutting the power off to work on the box. At that point I took an unintentional nap on the couch and awoke 45 minutes later with a crick in my neck².

Finally the contractors left and I was able to get to work. While my session was short, from about 7:30-9PM, I managed to win some good money thanks mostly to a new fish that apparently is from Afghanistan.³ Its worth noting that in the world of high stakes online poker, any time you find a new/unknown player who isn’t from the USA, Canada, or a Scandinavian country is usually a cause for celebration. I have never seen a player from Afghanistan, so that was either a great sign of fish to come, or an indication that some regular high stakes player had just put that as their country to gain action. Some brief data gathering affirmed the former! My next thought was that perhaps he was involved in some sort of shady terrorist business or something, and by playing him (and presumably taking his money) I could do my part to fight terrorism! Its a silly though, I suppose, but if it turns out to be true then I guess that makes me an American hero. Anyhow, I tried to play him at 50/100 cap PLO, but apparently I am not allowed to play above 25/50 without further confirmation from FTP security. Harumph! Fortunately he was at a regular 25/50 table too so I sat and turned on god mode, winning a few buyins in about a hundred hands.

This was the first big pot. Obviously I hit the ginnest gin card that ever ginned on the turn, but look how loose he called me down!

Full Tilt Poker $25/$50 Pot Limit Omaha Hi – 5 players

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

BTN: $31620.50

SB: $4950.00

BB: $752.50

UTG: $1197.00

Hero (CO): $5942.50

Pre Flop: ($75.00) Hero is CO with T 8 6 7

1 fold, Hero raises to $175, BTN calls $175, 2 folds

Flop: ($425.00) 4 3 2 (2 players)

Hero bets $350, BTN calls $350

Turn: ($1125.00) 5 (2 players)

Hero bets $950, BTN calls $950

River: ($3025.00) T (2 players)

Hero bets $2700, BTN calls $2700

Final Pot: $8425.00

BTN mucks A 4 K Q

Hero shows T 8 6 7 (a straight, Seven high)

Hero wins $8422.00

(Rake: $3.00)

I also somehow managed to get there and hold up in this subsequent pot against a regular, which was nice.

Full Tilt Poker $25/$50 Pot Limit Omaha Hi – 5 players

The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

CO: $28726.00

BTN: $4628.50

SB: $5928.50

BB: $637.50

Hero (UTG): $10476.00

Pre Flop: ($75.00) Hero is UTG with 2 3 5 4

Hero calls $50, CO calls $50, BTN calls $50, 1 fold, BB checks

Flop: ($225.00) 2 5 J (4 players)

BB checks, Hero bets $225, CO folds, BTN raises to $900, BB folds, Hero calls $675

Turn: ($2025.00) A (2 players)

Hero bets $1900, BTN raises to $3678.50 all in, Hero calls $1778.50

River: ($9382.00) 8 (2 players – 1 is all in)

Final Pot: $9382.00

BTN shows J J 2 4 (three of a kind, Jacks)

Hero shows 2 3 5 4 (a straight, Five high)

Hero wins $9379.00

(Rake: $3.00)

And I busted shortstacks for $1000 left and right too, which was quite enjoyable. Eventually I had to quit the table due to social obligations, but it was a nice little $12k session or thereabouts.

I returned to my lair later this evening to find the same allegedly Afghani fish playing at 200/400 heads up (at a 6max table) with Chau Giang, and before I knew it Eli Elezra had joined as well. It was an opportunity too good to pass up, so I began looking for online poker friends to put together some money to take a shot. This is a very common practice in the world of high-stakes online poker, since often the nosebleed games are the softest ones above 2/4, but very few people have enough of a bankroll to take all of the risk on themselves.  It is also probably a completely absurd idea to most regular folks, but it is the way of things. I tried to sit at the table to lock up the best seat, but to my dismay the same awful window about emailing FTP security to increase my playing limits popped up. Blast! I watched in dismay as Patrik Antonius and David Benyamine sat in shortly thereafter, polluting this otherwise glorious pond with their ‘poker skills’. But a friend returned my IM and we decided to take on the game anyhow, because it was a pretty great spot for shortstacking. Our short buyin dwindled a bit at first due to garbage starting hands, but we won one small uncontested pot⁴ to get us slightly in the black. But sadly, the Afghan fish sat out and left, and then Eli followed. Our game had effectively broken. But we still had a free button to see before we packed up shop! It worked out to be quite a nice button indeed.

Full Tilt Poker $200/$400 Pot Limit Omaha Hi – 3 players
The Official DeucesCracked.com Hand History Converter

SB: $42027.50
BB: $38174.00
BTN: $12398.00

Pre Flop: ($600.00)
BTN raises to $1200, SB raises to $4000, 1 fold, BTN raises to $12398 all in, SB calls $8398

Flop: ($25196.00) 2 6 K

Turn: ($25196.00) 3

River: ($25196.00) 5

Final Pot: $25196.00
SB shows T J J 9 (a pair of Jacks)
BTN shows T 5 K K (three of a kind, Kings)
BTN wins $25195.00
(Rake: $1.00)

Booya.⁵

We quit, booked a 13k win, and each took half. We agreed in our post-game discussion that life is too easy.

1. Yes, actual fuses. They are old and weird and require hard work to find at a hardware store when needed. [↩]
2. Fortunately it resolved itself pretty quickly. [↩]
3. At least thats what his country is listed as on Full Tilt, I’m not sure how accurate it really has to be. [↩]
4. Well, small in terms of BBs. It was a $7400 pot. [↩]
5. This pot was especially satisfying because we won it off Patrik, who I’ve never played against but who still managed to take me for lots of money this summer by way of crushing dudes at rail heaven when I had some of their action. [↩]

The last few days since I got back from the PCA I’ve been motivated to put in some good hours¹, and I’m pretty excited about it. I think it stems from spending so much time around other poker pros in the Bahamas. In San Francisco I rarely hang out with other poker players and I already have more money than I need, so its easy to slack off and not put in too many hours. But when I’m around poker players (especially professionals), my natural competitiveness kicks in along with a renewed interest in the game, so now I’m ready to play a lot of hands and thus win a lot of money. Winning a little bit of money in the tournament but watching some other chumps win lots of money also makes me want to take it from them, or at least from somebody. That 3 million first prize would have been pretty nice…

Also, my roommate alerted me to the fact that houses in San Francisco are actually not all that expensive anymore², so buying one in the near future is actually a possibility. That is even more motivation to grind a lot since if I were to buy a place I’d want/need to put as much down on it as possible. My credit is probably not that great since I don’t use a credit card, which is some bullshit³. Why should somebody who’s been in debt their whole life have better credit than somebody like me who has no debt at all and is making lots of money? And why should I have to use a credit card to buy things just to show people that I have enough money to pay my bills on time? Meh. On the plus side, buying a house straight up (or at least mostly straight-up) would give me the chance to fill a briefcase up with bricks of cash, which is something I’ve always wanted to do. They probably frown on that practice since wire transfers or checks are infinitely more safe and secure, but I bet I could convince them. I mean, the briefcase would obviously be handcuffed to my wrist until I handed it off, so it couldn’t be that unsafe.

Also, if you weren’t already aware of the allusion, the title ‘Thug Motivation’ comes from Young Jeezy’s first (and best) album⁴. Its pretty good pump-up music before a live session (and also good to play after a big winning live session, as I once discovered driving my roommates car back from Lucky Chances). I’m not actually a thug in any way, shape, or form.

1. almost 10 hours so far in the last 2 days! [↩]
2. Nice 2br2ba flats for $400-600k, TY housing crisis! [↩]
3. I actually don’t know how good my credit is, but I assume its not great. [↩]
4. Not to be confused with Trick Daddy’s album ‘Thug Matrimony: Married to the Streets’ which is just ridiculous [↩]

Well I’m back from the Bahamas, and it was a great trip. I’ve got plenty of things to write about it, of course, including a play-by-play of all my most important hands in the tournament (and some fun and hilarious cash game hands as well!) but I feel like I don’t know where to begin. Additionally, I’ve got the rest of the report from my holiday break to write, and I feel bad going straight to the Bahamas report without finishing that. So, I’m kinda stuck. I feel like this is a pretty common problem, especially when I’ve got several different things to write about. Anybody have good ideas about how to overcome this block?

I guess I’m long overdue around these parts. The holidays have a way of getting me out of what few routines I actually have. So anyhow, here’s the report, with as many details as I can recall well enough to write about:

On the 16th, I took the redeye flight to New York. I didn’t manage to sleep much on the flight, which isn’t too surprising given how late I normally stay up. I took a shuttle bus from JFK to Grand Central Station. That was a mistake. It was advertised as being as fast as a cab because it was a direct trip, but they neglected to mention the 15 minutes of waiting for the next bus and the 20 minutes of driving around to every other terminal at the airport¹. It was also very uncomfortable and noisy and the windows had this little dot-matrix covering which made it difficult to see anything outside very clearly. I will not make that mistake again. Anyhow, once arriving at Grand Central I bought a ticket for the next train to New Haven and ate a breakfast burrito while waiting. I finally managed to sleep some on the two hour train ride, but it wasn’t very good sleep on account of being a commuter train. Finally I arrived to New Haven a little around noon, and walked to Vanessa’s apartment, which was only slightly too close to justify a cab ride. She had some law school stuff to do, and I was obviously exhausted, so I passed out for a few hours. That night I served as a ringer for her law school group, which had challenged another group to a keg race. There was a whole lot of law school talk which went way over my head, but it was a good time regardless.

We spent the next few days finishing up work on our next DeucesCracked series² and recording it, with periodic breaks to enjoy the local food. Apparently New Haven has some of the best pizza ever, and after eating at Pepe’s Pizza I have to agree. I personally don’t think that any one pizza can really be amazingly better than most pizza the way sushi or steak can be, but it was some really good pizza.

On Friday the 18th we trudged through heavy snow with our luggage to get to the train back to New York. We spent the better part of the ride playing chinese poker, and of course she ran hot and beat me out of 19 points or so. Upon our arrival in the city, we found it to be equally gross out, but were able to get a cab reasonably quickly. We rode over to Phil Galfond’s new place in the East Village to drop off our stuff. I hadn’t met him in person before, but because we were strapped for time, our first encounter involved him carrying my bags inside for me while I waited with the cab³. Upon dropping off the bags, we headed to Madison Square Garden and met up with some of the other DC dudes in town: Krantz, Chuck, Josh, and Aaron Wilt (who was in town recording another soon-to-be released DC series!). We had a blast at the Knicks game, even though they got beat by some chump team (the timberwolves, maybe?). There were a few things of note at the game:

1. The beers come with a pretzel stick in the handle. Delicious. Krantz tried to fill the space up with mustard to dip it in but neglected to realize that it was open at the bottom and made a mustard mess.
2. Chris Duhon is still the man. Not that there was ever any doubt.
3. There was a dance competition at halftime between an overweight black guy dressed in a Santa costume and an older guy called ‘dancin grampa’. Dancin’ grampa won primarily because the fact that he was able to dance at his age was impressive, and the Santa dude didn’t really have any especially sweet moves either. We realized shortly after halftime that Dancin’ grampa was sitting in our section, just a few rows behind us. Lucky!

After the game we went straight to our friend Dani⁴’s apartment for a house party he was hosting. Most of the people there were younger folks who we didn’t know at all, so we spent most of the party together hanging out. Aaron and I gawked at the ridiculous Manhattan views from afinity stories up, Chuck cracked jokes nonstop, Jay jokingly put on Aaron’s wedding band and went to go talk to 21-year old girls while conspicuously displaying it. Good times. Chuck and Aaron went off pretty early to go drink cheap beers at some nearby bar of note, and so after a little while Vanessa and Jay and I decided to join them. On the way to Chuck’s apartment, we stopped at the McDonalds and ordered an absurd amount of food: A big mac meal for me, along with 60 chcken nuggets, 5 cheeseburgers, and 4 large fries. I think it came out to $40 or something. No wonder America is so fat. We also of course had to stop at the ice cream store on the corner to get ice cream. Upon our arrival at Chuck’s place, we discovered that Chuck himself was already asleep like a chump, and Vanessa didn’t want any of our junk food, so it was down to Jay and Aaron and myself to tackle the lot of it. I think we did a pretty good job, but there were a few fries and a few nuggets leftover afterwards. Oh well. We finished up and left, Jay and Aaron headed to Jay’s new apartment and Vanessa and I back to Phil’s place. Phil’s place, as it turns out, is both the top floor and the penthouse of a building, which he plans to remodel into a two story beast-house. What a baller. He’s also a really nice guy, too, and was happy to let me sleep on his couch.

…to be continued…

1. there are like a thousand terminals at JFK, too [↩]
2. I guess I can’t spill the details just yet, but suffice it to say it’ll be another groundbreaking and awesome one. [↩]
3. if thats not a brag I don’t know what is! [↩]
4. probably better known as Ansky to readers of this blog [↩]